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| I woke up this morning and the weather said it was 26 degrees. With wind chill it felt like 17 degrees. Shit its cold! So anyway they called the game because it was too cold for the paint. It sucks because i wanted to play but i didnt really feel like freezing my ass either. other than that i sat around at home playing ps2 and drinking hot damn. relaxing day.....not bad at all. | | |
| Got a game on sunday.....should be fun. Gonna drop some fuckin ropes. I cant wait till im tourney full time. All i will have to do is keep working on my game and everything else will take care of it self.
Jennifer called me today. I dont know what to make of it yet. I guess she was trying to piss me off. Didnt work. I wish i could hang out with her sister julie again, then again that would make things very akward. dont need anymore of that. I thing im gonna try to stick with my promise to my self and just lay off girls for a while (til i get my sanity back). Its gonna be really hard. why the hell cant i find anything that makes me happy other than playing paintball. It makes me sound like a fucking moron when im talking to girls. then nod at me when im talking to them but i know they are thinking "god this is boring" or "what the fuck is he talking about". Maybe i should find a girl that likes paintball as much as me. | | |
| Well allison told me she doesnt hate me but she doesnt want to see me
or talk to me anymore. So she pretty much hates me. I guess its time to
move on.Maybe it will be easier knowing that there is no hope of being
with her again. She claims that she was telling the truth when she told
me that she loved me, but know im pretty sure she just said it just to
make me happy. Some day she will look back and be sorry that she never
gave us a chance. i will still love her till the day i die. I know im
stupid for saying that but i cant help it.
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| A lot of things have happened since the last time i posted. Looks like im moving in with john, cole and rabbit. Should be interesting....Hmm what else. I was interested in a girl recently until i realized that im still in love with Allison. Yeah I know im stupid for clinging to the past. I just cant get over her. I decided to send her a email telling her that i want her back and would do anything. I poured my heart out but im pretty sure its not going to matter to her. Im really afraid she never wants to see me again. Shes always very friendly when i make small talk with her at work. Shes told me that she misses me but thats a long way off from i love you and i want you back. The only thing that has kept me sane lately is the frequent visits to cave to distract myself from the sad fact that i cant have the only thing i want. this sucks i should be happy my paintball career is taking off nicely and more and more girls have looking in my direction(weird huh?). This should make me feel better right? Well i doesnt. I wish some thing would. | | |
| Wow......tonight sucked. Not that talking to John about things wasnt good, it was the fact that everybody we called to hang out and drink with us bailed on us.....all 8 of them. Where did everybody go, it seems like everybody lately has been giving me the brush off. Oh well at least cisco will be back soon. I can always count on him. Dont worry jess im not directing this toward you I understand your sick and dont really feel like going out. I cant wait until im rich and I can do whatever the fuck I want (play paintball and party all night). | | |
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